A taste like sour milk.
My nerves split my eyebrows.
Shoulder blades contract
My nerves split my eyebrows.
Shoulder blades contract
and stick, and stretching
won’t melt muscle fibers.
I feel my heart-- rounder,
won’t melt muscle fibers.
I feel my heart-- rounder,
And louder, and more central
than in the diagrams.
It falls into my stomach
To feed a hunger,
Then spins up into my throat
than in the diagrams.
It falls into my stomach
To feed a hunger,
Then spins up into my throat
Until I cough up metal.
I can't even shit.
It was an easy dosing.
I was stacking orange bottles.
Antidepressants, mostly,
Up straight in a tower.
The pills freckling containers
I was stacking orange bottles.
Antidepressants, mostly,
Up straight in a tower.
The pills freckling containers
Like windows
on skyscrapers at dusk.
I flipped the rearview mirror
to night view, anti-glare.
Glance up and see the buildings
when the freeway curves-- I'm
curious, who's working late,
and what do they do,
and who pays them?
I looked up the ones I couldn't remember.
on skyscrapers at dusk.
I flipped the rearview mirror
to night view, anti-glare.
Glance up and see the buildings
when the freeway curves-- I'm
curious, who's working late,
and what do they do,
and who pays them?
I looked up the ones I couldn't remember.
Names patronizing and overconfident.
Grants abilities. Makes you well.
For sale on the national news:
"Increases serotonin and norepinephrine
and makes it easier to be happy!"
I've been doing this too long
I don't believe it.
For sale on the national news:
"Increases serotonin and norepinephrine
and makes it easier to be happy!"
I've been doing this too long
I don't believe it.
I grab Ritalin out of the pile.
The news reports on Ritalin”
The news reports on Ritalin”
“Nightmare drug does more harm.”
I don't believe those either.
I'd exhausted myself hanging
the delicates on wires.
I wanted big fat checks
on the to-do list,
and the pills were past their potency so,
Just one?
Hello, Walls.
Have you always stood so straight?
I love the corners, sturdy,
like mothers wrapped over their babies in Pompeii.
I don't believe those either.
I'd exhausted myself hanging
the delicates on wires.
I wanted big fat checks
on the to-do list,
and the pills were past their potency so,
Just one?
Hello, Walls.
Have you always stood so straight?
I love the corners, sturdy,
like mothers wrapped over their babies in Pompeii.
Seems I haven't much to say
on the page.
The day stays
Stagnant.
I knew better.
on the page.
The day stays
Stagnant.
I knew better.
There's a reason the bottle's still full,
And I only trust doctors
to heal real hearts.
And I know, obviously,
this isn't "the one" for me.
But the tower is tall now.
Floors of orange,
Shaded in the glare-proof mirror;
It's just advertising.
It looks different in the day.
Just a big, gray block among many.
I trust more
The sky.
It is more mine than the buildings.
And I only trust doctors
to heal real hearts.
And I know, obviously,
this isn't "the one" for me.
But the tower is tall now.
Floors of orange,
Shaded in the glare-proof mirror;
It's just advertising.
It looks different in the day.
Just a big, gray block among many.
I trust more
The sky.
It is more mine than the buildings.
Stones you can pocket.
Skies owned by no one.
Equally yours
as mine and the landlord's.
And I get it,
Why, when the neighbor in 3B sees me
Leave
She picks the bottles from the dumpster.
The sky is inconsistently blue.
Skies owned by no one.
Equally yours
as mine and the landlord's.
And I get it,
Why, when the neighbor in 3B sees me
Leave
She picks the bottles from the dumpster.
The sky is inconsistently blue.
But the pills aren't there.
I mixed them with coffee grounds,
in a plastic bag in the kitchen trash.
I think she would've done the same thing,
Eventually.
But what do I know?
Half my friends are on something.
Maybe they're not stacking.
Maybe they're refilling.
Maybe they're working.
Half my friends are on something.
Maybe they're not stacking.
Maybe they're refilling.
Maybe they're working.
I wish them luck,
sincerely,
sincerely,
But I'm done.
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