I cried when I hugged my brothers goodbye at their rental car
And the Palm trees reassured me I'd made the right choice
As I drove straight to the mattress store

You live here now
This is for you

I watched Friends DVDs on my new mattress
Until the finale coincided with Tikka Masala delivery
Spilling on the bedsheet
When the things I'd sold
And the people I left
Became indistinguishable

The view from my Bellingham kitchen
Was a tree that changed colors with seasons
It never reassured me in the winter
When the passing students could look in
As I washed the dishes

You don't belong here
You should just kill yourself

And the rest of the year,
When it was green, or orange, or red
Had I cleaned enough to deserve the view?

The Palm trees are just Palm trees now
Usually neutral, planted and bending

Leave if you want
Stay if you want

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